Pervy Activity Liason
Handbook
You and your Pal(s)
The PAL System is a buddy system created by the original Kinky Salon in San Francisco.
The idea is that no one – whether a first-timer or an every-timer – ever attends a Kinky Salon party alone. Everyone brings a friend (or two). We call these friends P.A.L.s (Pervy Activity Liaisons).
Attending Kinky Salon can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. The PAL System ensures you always have at least one wing-person in your corner at all times. Each PAL is also responsible for the behaviour of the person or people they come with, providing a form of mutual accountability that keeps our events feeling safer for all guests.
PALs can be any gender, any orientation, and any relationship to you: platonic, romantic, we-don’t-like-to-put-a-label-on-it… whatever floats your boat!
Whatever your gender, if you want to come to Kinky Salon these rules apply:
You must bring at least one PAL with you.
Your PAL group can be made up of two or three people.
Your PAL(s) must be somebody you know and trust. You can’t PAL someone you don’t know.
Your PAL(s) can be any gender.
Your PAL group must have at least one person who has attended any past Kinky Salon Toronto event.
You are responsible for your PAL’s behaviour and they are responsible for yours. If any of you violate the code of conduct you will both/all be held responsible.
You must arrive together and we strongly recommend leaving together.
Frequently Asked Questions
I’m a Kinky Salon member but my PAL isn’t. Can I still bring them?
YES! Members can invite non-members to be their PAL. We welcome it! This is exactly how we bring more wonderful people into our community. But all non-member PALs must apply to become a member prior to coming to one of our parties. This ensures that on the night of the event we know who they are, that they’ve familiarized themselves with our Code of Conduct, and that they know what they’re getting themselves into. PALs who aren’t members by the night of the event will not be admitted at the door. And without a PAL… you won’t be admitted either.
I am a single guy. Can my PAL be another single guy?
YES! As long as you know and trust them, you can testify to their good character and agree to keep an eye on each other, your PAL can be any gender.
We are a couple and we have a single friend. Can we bring them with us?
YES! Please do! Triad PALs are welcome. If your group is more than three… you’ll have to start pairing off into smaller PAL groups.
I am a single girl. Do I really need to bring a PAL?
YES! They can be any gender or a couple.
I am a single guy. Am I welcome?
YES! As long as you are respectful, you have read and understand the Code of Conduct, you have a PAL who you know and trust with you, and you are not in street clothes you are welcome.
Can I meet someone online, arrive with them, and then go off and party?
NO! You must know your PAL, be able to testify to their good character, and trust them. To come to the event with someone you don’t know and trust is disrespectful to our community and compromises the safety of the space. And you’ll also be putting your own status in the community at risk if your PAL misbehaves, as you’re also responsible for your PALs behaviour. Don’t chance it!
My PAL cancelled last minute. Can I call my friend who is already there, and get them to meet me at the door and be my PAL (as a group of three)?
YES! As long as: a) they can meet you at the door when you arrive; and b) they don’t have too many PALs already (maximum is a group of three).
If I arrive 15 minutes before my PAL can I hang out at the party until they arrive?
NO! We don’t have much of a lobby in our venue to hold you while you wait, so probably best to arrive together. If you’re really early and don’t want to wait outside, there are a number of great cafes and the like nearby to pass the time.
I have been coming to Kinky Salon for years. Can I come without a PAL?
NO! You will need to come with someone.
Why do you recommend leaving together?
The ONLY reason you should leave without your PAL is if you trust them in your deepest heart of hearts to behave themselves. You don’t want to be held responsible for some random person’s late night drunken shenanigans! If you leave and your PAL misbehaves, you will also be held responsible. If your PAL leaves and your actions are even slightly dodgy, we will ask you to leave.
What happens if my PAL misbehaves?
First we will talk to them, and then we will find you and talk to you. If necessary, one or both of you will be asked to leave. If it is serious then they will be banned from future events and you will get a warning.
Will I get kicked out if my PAL misbehaves?
You could. It depends on the situation.