Code of Conduct
The Kinky Salon Code of Conduct was created by the community and states our intention and our standards. We created it to help our members understand how we live our Values.
Do:
Express and respect boundaries
Practice harm reduction, and center consent
Dress for the occasion
Contribute when and where you can
Respect our space
Respect each other
Don’t:
Linger unaccompanied in play spaces
Cruise aggressively
Get too intoxicated
Use your cell phone
Take photographs
Gossip about what goes on here
The Long Version
Do:
Express your boundaries, and respect the boundaries of other people.
Our Values and this Code set out the baseline expectations for respectful conduct at Kinky Salon. As individuals, we have additional needs and preferences.
Setting boundaries is a positive thing. It helps us clearly communicate what makes us feel safe. This is especially important for the types of verbal and physical interactions that may take place at Kinky Salon.
Some boundaries need to be stated up front; “No thank you, I’m allergic to that”, “Sorry, I don’t shake hands”. Other boundaries may need to be expressed in response to an interaction; “I’m not comfortable with comments about my body”, “I don’t give out my phone number”.
If someone makes you uncomfortable, for ANY reason, please let them know if you feel safe doing so. If you need support, please talk to a walkaround host or a Core member.
Practice harm reduction, and center consent.
Be clear about what your safer sex practices are. A variety of supplies are provided in the play spaces, and you’re always welcome to bring your favourites!
Safer sex is about more than barriers and lube. Being able to clearly communicate with your partners is essential. If you choose not to be sober at an event, be mindful of what you’re consuming and how much. Intoxication isn’t always predictable. If you find yourself in a situation where you or your PAL have overdone it, please find a safe way to get home. If you need help, talk to a walkaround host.
Consent is mandatory. Consent is unique to each combination of people, and each situation. There are always new things to learn about how to effectively speak and listen in consent conversations. Kinky Salon provides discussions and activities during events to support this.
The Planned Parenthood “FRIES” model is a helpful way to frame your consent conversations.
Consent is:
Freely Given: A person cannot consent if they are vulnerable due to factors including, but not limited to pressure, manipulation, power imbalance, or intoxication.
Reversible: A “yes” isn’t permanent. Consent means making people feel safe to change their mind at any time; even if it’s something you’ve done together before, even if you’ve already started.
Informed: People need to know what they’re consenting to. Misleading someone or withholding information negates consent.
Enthusiastic: When asking for or giving consent, you want a “hell yes”, not the absence of “no”.
Specific: Consent is an ongoing discussion. Consenting to one activity doesn’t mean that consent to anything else is implied. If you’ve agreed to a kiss and want to do more, ask!
Dress for the occasion! Costumes are required at Kinky Salon; they’re a key factor in the party having the right atmosphere!
For many of us, Kinky Salon events are a major departure from everyday life. Whether it’s your first time or you’re a regular, shifting out of the usual grind and into a sexy party headspace can be challenging. We believe that this transition is much easier if you walk into a Kinky Salon event and see that everyone is in costume. It’s a visible commitment to playfulness and creativity.
There is never any expectation that you spend significant time or money on a fancy outfit. Dollar store and DIY options are highly encouraged, and KST themes are always open to creative interpretation when it comes to clothing. Not sure where to start? Wear something you already feel great in, and accessorize it according to the theme.
Contribute when and where you can.
The Kinky Salon community is created through the efforts of everyone involved. If you want to volunteer, perform, or have a creative offering, drop us a line. We would love to hear from you.
Respect our space. It’s not easy to find a location for Kinky Salon. Treat the space, and all venue staff with respect. It helps make future events possible, and it’s just the right thing to do!
Please clean up after yourselves in the play spaces, put trash and recyclables where they belong, and report any spills or facilities issues to venue staff or walkaround hosts.
Respect each other.
Kinky Salon welcomes a wide range of people. Treat everyone well, whether you’re interested in making a connection with them or not. Being respectful towards each other means that we can build an inclusive atmosphere of trust.
Don’t:
Linger unaccompanied in play spaces or interrupt scenes.
Although the play spaces aren’t entirely private, they are less social than other areas of the party. People often feel more vulnerable when they’re engaged in a scene, and want to enjoy themselves without being distracted.
Even if you only want to watch, consent is required unless it’s a performance or designated viewing area. If you’re looking to meet or discuss play with new people, more neutral ground like the dance floor or chill spaces are the best place to start.
Cruise aggressively.
No one is guaranteed or entitled to making a connection at Kinky Salon; sexual, romantic, or otherwise. Take the time to express your interest respectfully, and never try to debate someone’s “no”. Aggressive or persistent requests are not welcome behaviour.
Get too intoxicated.
Intoxication means that you can’t consent. Total sobriety is not mandatory, but for everyone’s enjoyment and safety, it is strongly recommended that you practice appropriate harm reduction, stick with what’s familiar to you, and stay well below your known limit. If you are found to be overly intoxicated, you and your PAL may be discreetly asked to leave. Severe or repeated incidents will involve further discussion with the core team.
Use your cell phone.
Ideally, you can keep your phone stashed for the duration of the event, and be fully present, If you need to be reachable in an emergency, please keep your phone on vibrate, and avoid having it visible in the event space. Please step outside should you need to take a call or answer a message.
Take photographs.
We usually have a pro photographer here to capture your fabulous outfit at our (optional) Photo Booth. We will always let you know about this ahead of the event. No other photography is permitted, via camera or cell phone.
Photo booth images are emailed to the address you provide, and will never be used for any other purposes without your express permission. You may share your photos, provided you have the consent of everyone pictured.
Gossip about what goes on here.
At Kinky Salon we feel that valuing people’s privacy is an important part of creating a safe space where everyone can just “be themselves.” So NEVER mention names or specific activities on any public blogs, social media, or message boards. What happens at Kinky Salon stays at Kinky Salon.