Kinky Salon Consent Violation Report Procedures and Policies

(imported from KS Global / for us to revise)

Policies

  • Kinky Salon prioritizes the safety of the community over resolving conflict between its members

  • Our process is victim-centric and accepts reports as valid 

  • We are a small community and do not have the resources to mediate conflict or investigate reports

  • Our anti-racism policies may affect this process and should be taken into consideration when BIPoC are involved

  • We understand that two people can have different experiences of the same incident

  • We understand that words people use to define specific actions can vary

  • We acknowledge that our process is not perfect but we commit to doing our best 

Receiving Reports

  • We have a form on our website for receiving reports

  • Reports are not limited to incidents that occur at Kinky Salon

  • Reports are seen by one person and are never shared unless explicitly communicated

  • We require simple, one-sentence reports

  • We do not read or listen to long, detailed reports

  • We accept all reports as valid, unless they are obviously a direct retaliation from a recently implicated person or someone attempting to weaponize our system

  • Sometimes reports are made directly to a local team member and this procedure can be bypassed

Responding to Reports

  • We know that engaging in the reporting process can be stressful for both the reporter and the implicated person and we always suggest reaching out to a PAL (or a friend) for emotional support

  • We never respond without the consent of the reporter/ injured person

  • We use templated responses and do not engage in long conversations or get emotionally involved in responding to reports

  • We use info@kinkysalon.com to engage with the implicated person, and we sign off as “Kinky Salon”

  • We are never judge and jury deciding whether someone is right or wrong

  • We never make direct accusations or tell people they are guilty

  • When members report consent violations we may suggest completion of Track 1 (Claiming Your Consent: About Surviving) of this consent workshop https://navigating-consent.com/ to the injured party, taking care not to victim blame

Our Policies for Actions

  • Kinky Salon is a private community and we may invite or disinvite people at our discretion

  • If the implicated person is not a member of Kinky Salon we keep the report for future reference and may choose not to let the person know that a report has been made

  • If the implicated person is a member of Kinky Salon we will put their account on hold during the process of receiving a report (unless specifically asked not to by the reporter)

  • Actions we take are NOT a suggestion of guilt

  • If the reporter wants to remain anonymous, wants their report to be private, or wants to redact or change their report, we honor their wishes

Actions We Might Take

  • Requiring completion of Track 2 (Honoring Others’ Consent: About Transgressing) of this consent workshop https://navigating-consent.com/ is the standard response for most basic violations

  • For more serious violations membership will be suspended until the above consent workshop is complete

  • If the implicated person responds aggressively, with threats to our organization or the people involved, no matter the severity of the original report we may choose to suspend their membership

  • If the implicated person is a core team member or volunteer they may be asked to step back from their role in our organization

  • If the incident in the report involves intoxication, we may request the implicated person only attend Kinky Salon sober

  • If the implicated person has multiple reports made against them we may choose to suspend their membership

  • If the implicated person is deemed dangerous to our community we may choose to suspend their membership

  • If restorative action, (ex: therapy, mediation, coaching, written apology, etc) is an option for the reporter we may provide resources for that course of action but do not have the resources to facilitate these processes

Ongoing Policies

  • We have a process for periodically reviewing and updating these policies and procedures to reflect new wisdom and changing community needs

  • The system we maintain for documenting reported incidents is confidential and secure

  • Our core teams and community leaders from other local communities may be informed verbally of decisions made, at our discretion (ex: consent workshop completion requested) but details of reports will never be shared

  • The name of the reporter will never be shared without their explicit consent

  • The name of the implicated person will only be shared verbally with core team members and community leaders, never in writing

  • We acknowledge that we are all humans and we all make mistakes, including the people at Kinky Salon, and that these situations can be complex and nuanced, but we commit to doing our best

  • We are transparent about our reporting process and will answer questions should they arise, but we reserve the right to step back from prolonged debate on social media

  • We promote workshops, trainings, and discussions about consent, anti-racism, cultural sensitivity, and other relevant topics to foster a safer community